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So Ebola, Taylor Swift, and a hazmat suit walk into a bar...

Upstaging famed pop-country singer and notorious ex-girlfriend Taylor Swift's over-hyped arrival in New York earlier this week (because, really, when has a pretty girl in her twenties ever moved to New York in hopes of diversifying her talents?) Ebola has arrived in Gotham.  Just imagine that strain of the virus they keep showing on the news eating its way out of a big apple.

The heralds of the apocalypse followed immediately.  And no panic is complete in this city without a New York Post cover riding down from heaven (okay, from News Corp) to announce Armageddon in a tacky headline splashed across a cover with all the calmness and rationality of Scarlett O'Hara during the burning of Atlanta.  Of course, the disease isn't airborne and communicable through body fluids which, in layman's terms, means that even if the man infected did ride the subway (which he most definitely did) the only way you are likely to catch Ebola is if he licked the turnstile and so did you (sorry Gary Busey, you're out of luck).

The patient in question (and, now, in confinement) is an American doctor who recently returned from West Africa where Ebola is rampant (though it's hard to believe that they could be acting more sensational than the U.S. media).  Despite facts, terribly annoying little flies in the ointment that is the American free press (curing despotism since 1791), it is not unlikely that inane conspiracy theories and hyperventilating panic will grip some in the days to come.  Although, I do admit it is curious that the virus appears in New York so soon after Taylor Swift's arrival.  I knew you were trouble when you walked in, Swift.


Ebola in any form is pretty much bad news for everybody.  Well, not everybody everybody.  There are some speculators who would sell their mothers up the river, or down the river, or whatever the expression is to make a quick buck.  Hey, no one said getting filthy rich was a clean lifestyle.  Seriously, people, it's right in the first word.

Lakeland Industries, the newly famous hazmat suit maker which manufactures the ChemMax 1 worn by medical staff treating Ebola patients, did great in early trading, reaching a high of 16.25 dollars a share today.  In fact, today was the stock's best showing since it peaked at 29.00 on Monday October 13th, which was incidentally, Columbus Day.  Apparently the recollection of a foreign illness arriving on our shores and wiping out a whole race of people made investors lose their minds in honor of Señor Cristóbal and the Spanish Crown.


Midday saw a dip for Lakeland, however, and that dip became a slide to 13.71-and-dropping.  Perhaps the success isn't Ebola related at all; maybe the death of Oscar de la Renta had everyone fearful that there would be no nice close to wear anymore and we better get on board with the designer ChemMax 1, available in Wet Floor Sign yellow.

As for the new crop of Lakies out there, you might want to sell now.  If the proper circumstances take place to see the shares really skyrocket, I promise you won't be around to enjoy it.

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